There are many types of fear, and they are united by the fact that they spoil our life by not allowing us to achieve more, preventing us from fully realizing ourselves.

Fear paralyzes, enchains, and prevents us from acting. You can hate yourself in the moment of fear or after it but finding ourselves in a similar situation again we continue to experience this overwhelming feeling. What makes us afraid? I think, an experienced psychotherapist would have found the answer after having delved into our past. It is quite possible that he would even advise to meet with fear face to face and apply a strong-willed approach.

The method of overcoming by force is the main and almost the only way to overcome fears. Unfortunately, it has limits to its effectiveness. A strong-willed approach requires tremendous effort, and it becomes almost physically painful in its process. In addition, once is rarely enough to completely defeat fear, and even worse, this method is not applicable to all types of our phobias. For example, if you have never been to another country or are traveling alone for the first time, then with an effort of you will overcome your anxiety. But what about the fear of failing the exam, the fear of flying or failure. The forceful method of overcoming fear does not work in cases where the negative result is not a product of our imagination and not knowledge, but a very real outcome. A positive solution to the situation is not perceived by us as final; each repetition of a stressful situation leads to the same negative emotions. If we get a negative result, then the fear can easily increase.

Before we figure out how to cope with fears that do not lend themselves to the forceful method, let’s define what unites them. Man is truly a strange creature and is capable of being afraid of anything, be it a thunderstorm, dismissal from work or insects. However, there are almost no differences, and all types can be divided into two: fear of the new and fear of the unknown. The difference in them is how our brain processes the event, if we meet with something for the first time, then with an effort we will overcome ourselves and in the future there will be no more fears – these are the first days at a new job, the first steps in personal life, the first descent from the mountain on a snowboard. If you look closely, then all of them are united by the word “first”, after which they no longer cause the same emotions. The second type of fears does not have the word “first”, this type of phobias are recurring events, like the fear of heights or the fear of being rejected. It is important to note that the division is highly arbitrary and depends on how our brain works. Someone could be afraid of airplanes because they had never used them before, while others are afraid of air travel all their lives. The concept of “uncertainty” unites all fears groups, with the difference that for the first it “passes”, and for the second it takes root in our head and is able to repeat itself all the time.

Let’s conclude – we need to remove the uncertainty factor from our thoughts so that fear disappears. Everyone has met with overconfident and often arrogant people, sometimes it seems that they have no fears, or at least fewer than most of us. The secret of such people is the absence of uncertainty. They do not hesitate, in their head there is always only one option for an event development – a favorable for them. It would seem silly not to consider various options for how the situation will turn out. “What if the plane still crashes” or “I could lose my job at any time, and then what?” – these are harmless questions only at first glance. They waste our resources, nerves and time, and the benefits from them are as much as from a battery that has been short-circuited. Therefore, remove uncertainty from your life, our brain is not adapted to it, and in order to convince of this, let’s analyze examples from life.

1. You are going to a difficult exam, you failed to learn everything, and a good half of the material is unknown. Your attitude to the situation completely changes your inner mood. So, if you think “I definitely fail the exam,” then you won’t be scared, since you are 100% sure that nothing will come of it. It is much worse if you are not sure about the outcome. It will be more difficult for you to use even the knowledge that you have, and the chance to fail will only increase. Our brains are bad at accepting undefined events. Perhaps fear is similar to the excitement of getting an accidental win, with the difference that fear paralyzes our actions, and excitement makes us repeat the same action with a predictably negative result. The correct approach will be to come to the exam and thinking that what you have learned more than enough to pass. Remove variability from the stream of thoughts, even if in a real situation it is.

2. You want to change your job, but there you need new knowledge and competencies, and it is not clear whether it will work out at all. You afraid to waste time and energy, and even to lose money. Similarly, to the previous case, at the beginning we remove all uncertainty from our case. A new job requires new knowledge – great, I’ll start learning now. My schedule, place of residence and so on will change – this is the meaning of a new job. There will be problems with money, I know it’s temporary, but additional experience and connections will appear. It is important not to allow doubts, the very fact that you have a desire to change jobs is positive, because the idea of becoming a pilot or a psychologist will not come up just like that. You need to close all objections, and it doesn’t matter how the future turns out in the end, the main thing is that you will begin the movement and overcome your fears. Everything in this world is built by trial and error, everything can be overcome by persistence and time, which is why the earlier you start, the faster you will get the desired result.