In recent years, we have been less likely to let life take its course. We have to monitor nutrition, the quality and quantity of food consumed; we practice yoga and go to the gym; we learn to live consciously and meditate. It may be possible to live without it, but we perfectly know where it leads. Everything is not so simple with relationships, we continue to rely on pure emotions, we choose a partner from a state of passion and lust, not thanks to awareness and love. The resulting fast food, while satisfying our instincts, harm us and does not allow to unleash the true potential of the family.

Only prepared people should approach to the family, and to relationships in general. I think many have heard that only happy people can build a happy relationship. That’s why looking for a couple immediately after the breakup does not lead to anything good. Another reason is the inability of an unhappy person to give and share. You should agree, looking for a partner just because you are lonely or unwell is a somewhat selfish goal. Looking for someone to solve their own problems, be it material (money and sex) or emotional (desire to be loved and not living alone) is a clear sign of a person’s unpreparedness for a relationship.

The tendency to freely share the joy and the weal you have with the loved one is the basis of harmonious relationships. Lack of selfishness is required. This is especially acute in a family where children have appeared. The desire for complete control over another person, the imposition of hobbies and values serve as an example of the parent’s selfishness: “We raised you – you owe us now!” Love does not require anything in return, otherwise it is not relationships that are built, but a business on favorable for someone else terms.

Once you fill ready for a relationship, you can start building them. For clarity, let’s compare this process with the construction of a house. A relationship is a house, which, like any building, includes many parts. The foundation, communications and walls of the structure are security, the ability to withstand external threats, which in the modern world is most often manifested in the form of material wealth. The technical stuffing, furniture and everything that creates comfort and functionality is mutual respect, trust and joint pastime. Interior design and lighting are romance and feelings, bright moments that create atmosphere and love.

The ratio of the above elements, which suits both, is the ideal house.

Creating a harmonious couple, like a good home, requires an understanding of what should be the result of the work, what funds will be required, and who will be responsible for parts. There are many types of relationships, from traditional to modern, where complete equality of the couple is assumed. The bottom line is that there is no correct and universal model; joint creative work is required.

Relationships should delight both. To achieve a balance, they need a separation of roles and responsibilities, and it does not have to be classical. Determine mutual expectations, find out the needs and desires of your partner. It is important to discuss issues related to finance, children, sex, sharing routine tasks. The more topics will be affected, the better you get to know each other and the clearer your relationship will be.

Be prepared that the matter will not end with one “construction”, life is a process. Keep evolving and everything will be fine.